What do you get when you cross a dumb bunny with a crazy rabbit? Something you wouldn’t want to run into after the sun sets. Dumbentia is wild, weird, wacky, and worse yet—just plain silly. It’s kinda like achieving one with the universe, only a lot more fun. This universe’s creator is certifiably insane; he’s got advertising parodies and “motivational” posters galore (you’ll need the Acrobat Reader to view them). If you don’t laugh more than three times while visiting, there’s something “seriously” wrong with you.
The Darwin Awards
{Tales of human stupidity} Raise your hand if you’ve ever been an idiot? C’mon, now… let’s be honest with one another. At least you haven’t removed yourself from the gene pool, unlike these “honored” individuals. You don’t wanna get this award. Whether you know it or not, someone has already outdumbed you. These stories, most confirmed, will have you wondering if we’re truly evolving. Laugh at another’s misfortune; it’s all you CAN do.
One Across
{Comprehensive online crossword resource} Don’t mince words with me, buddy; you know how cross I get if I can’t solve a puzzle. What’s the site I’m thinking of? It’s right on the tip of my e-tongue. Was it three down or… One Across. You’ll fill in the blanks quickly when you click through a clue search, find anagrams, or consult an online dictionary. Think you’re a master? Take the crossword purity test. My thesaurus is bigger than yours!
PinStruck
{A little bit of digital voodoo} Ever get the feeling that someone wants you to fail? Perhaps they’re holding onto a little doll… and it’s got a few pins sticking out of it. Know someone you’d rather not? Now there’s a way to vent your frustrations anonymously. Turn to the dark side of the Webcard universe! This site ain’t for kids, kids. I know we TRY to be good people, but there are certain individuals who always get our goat. Stick ‘em.
Wacky Uses
{Do alternative stuff with your stuff} When my microwave came back from the repair shop, a few Gnomies suggested that I place a CD-ROM face up in there and enjoy the light show. No way, gang. That’s not what either one was designed for. Isn’t that half the fun, though? Sure, you could follow suggested product usage—but who bothers to read directions anymore? Household items are capable of giving and doing more; it’s not nutty, it’s wacky.
IMood
{Share your feelings with Web visitors} When one has a Webcam switched on, it’s relatively easy to ascertain what kind of mood the owner is in. Shy people, while reserved, still feel anger and happiness (just like the rest of us loudmouthed dorks). Who spit in your Cheerios? Don’t tell everyone that you’re upset—show them. This graphic is dynamic; when your mood changes, update the image to reflect your current emotional state. Very curious.
Nexon Online Gaming
{Alternative entertainment options} Quit having so much fun; there are some serious sites to see here. Like QuizQuiz: a community-driven destination where you need to know the right answers. Or Shattered Galaxy: an Internet-based role playing game where the the future of humanity is unclear. Still bored? Enter the Kingdom of the Winds or Dark Ages for more mind-numbing action. If that’s not enough to get your binary blood pumping, you need help.
Battle Mail
{Revolutionary games via e-mail} Text-based messages are great for blasting succinct updates to your buddies. But what about turning your Inbox into a battleground; we gotta go a bit beyond ASCII to scope out these scenes. Anybody can ‘send and receive,’ but are you willing to take it one step further? With thousands of other players online, you’re guaranteed to meet your match. On a soccer field or in the Kung Fu arena, prepare for battle.
Dumb Boss
{The world of idiotic supervisors} Working for oneself has its advantages; I don’t have “superiors” to whom I must report. I hear tales of unbelievable workplace stupidity from my friends and family members every week. Thanks, but no thanks. I bet you’ve had a boss who’s been a couple fries short of a Happy Meal, or you know of someone who continues to deal with moronic management every day. Care to share anything with the rest of the group?
Play By E-mail Games Directory
{Send and receive some fun} Walk into any software outlet and you’ll see an overwhelming amount of entertainment titles sitting on the shelf. Somehow, paying $50 for a game I’ll only play once doesn’t seem too thrilling. You’re paying more for the packaging than you are for the gaming experience. You’ve got an Inbox already, why not use it to play today? The selection of fantasy, sport, war, horror and Star Trek e-mail games is expanding rapidly.
Solitaire Central
http://www.solitairecentral.com/
{Portal for card players} Whether you’re alone or you’re… alone? You’ve got an ace up your sleeve; you’re playing against yourself. Why not move beyond the most popular variation of this game; Klondike isn’t the only layout to be mastered. My personal favorite? Golf. Deal yourself a hand (or two) without a nine iron and you’ll see what I mean. And don’t stop there; get the latest downloads, factoids, tutorials, and other helpful links right away.
Roadside America
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/
{Guide to offbeat tourist attractions} For some odd reason, Shaun loves driving everywhere he goes. No joke; he went from Iowa to California to Vancouver then back to Iowa… within a week. Yes, he stopped for restroom breaks and comestible vending negotiations every now and then. What else did he see while he was on the road? Ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums, and a place where you can drive through the middle of a tree. That’s my country, baby!
Joseph Wu’S Origami Page
http://www.origami.vancouver.bc.ca/
{Origami lessons and gallery} Origami is an intriguing art form. Most of us can make a paper airplane, but with Origami, you can make a 747 complete with cockpit, altimeter, engines, landing gear, and the entire flight crew… as well as the projector for the in-flight Pauly Shore movie (this week: Biodome). There’s something miraculous about turning an ordinary piece of paper into a shark or a bird, or turning a pizza box into a pterodactyl for that matter. This site includes diagrams for both novice and advanced folders, and also includes a gallery of Origami work from some amazing artists who have made everything from animals to mythical creatures to microscopes. Dig in, and try to avoid paper cuts if possible.
ISketch
{Play Pictionary online} It’s a baby… no wait, it’s a dog… no, it’s a pirate ship… or maybe it’s a golf cart. What was it? Funny, it didn’t look anything like a Christmas tree. I think simplicity is key when it comes to drawing games, unless of course you can draw a likeness of Calvin Coolidge in under twenty seconds… in which case, you should be given some kind of handicap. Like having to draw with your feet. No matter what your talent happens to be, you can play online with iSketch. Let other players guess just what in the heck it is you’re trying to draw. Actually, you’re provided with the word beforehand. Otherwise, you could just draw people you know and stump the players every time. What’s the fun in that?
My Stars Live
{See the heavens anytime} My light will not reach you for another three million years. By the time you see it, I will have burned away. No, I’m not a washed-up 60s protest singer; I’m a star. How you wonder what I are. What I be. What I is. What I… nevermind. With My Stars Live, you can view a map of the sky from anywhere in the world. It’s perfect for pirates and old sea captains who still navigate by sextant. Arrr, matey… download the main sail and swab the Zip drive; we’re gonna harpoon ourselves a digital whale. Tonight, the stars be our guide. Ya don’t have to be a pirate to appreciate this nifty applet, although an eye patch always makes a nice accessory to any evening wear. Peg leg optional.
Yesterdayland
{Pop culture retrospective} It’s time to crawl into the Wayback Machine, Mr. Peabody. Ya know, whenever I think of the past it just brings back so many memories. Take a ride on the great space coaster of your youth and recall all those radical movies, video games, and Saturday morning cartoons that made up your Cocoa-Puff / Atari / TeenWolf world. This site stretches clear back to the Fifties, and it covers a bit of the Nineties as well. There’s plenty of retro to go around. Sound off on the message board; one of my favorite topics is “favorite movie clichÈ.” It’s great for anyone who wants to remember the carefree days of their youth, and who may have forgotten just how pivotal a show like Degrassi Junior High really was.
Foresight Exchange
{False value for true thoughts} Ask me to make a prediction concerning future trends in the world of technology, and I’m your dude. Anything beyond that and my crystal ball tends to get a little blurry. Don’t ask me to read any tea leaves, either; I tend to skip to the last leaf just to see how the story ends. Nevertheless, those of us who like to dabble in a bit of forecasting can sign up and place our bets on any future event. Not much of a gambler? Don’t sweat it; there’s no real cash involved. Who’s going to win the election? Who will be the next e-tailer to fall flat? So many questions and so few dollars to throw around. How can you not lose? I guess it’s back to the future…
Adflip
{View print ads form the past} So, you pick up your favorite impulsively-purchased magazine while standing in line at the checkout counter and the issue is THICK. “Boy,” you think, “there must be a ton of articles in here.” You finally come home, sit down, and turn to the first page: advertisement. So you turn a few more pages: sponsor, sponsor, sponsor. Finally, around page 45, you’ll see the table of contents… followed by twelve more pages of full page ads. They’re needed for a publication to stay out of the red; everyone knows that. But some of those pesky ads have also become part of our popular culture. Which ones? Check out this site and they’ll show you. Find out what products have been endorsed by different super models. It’s capitalism and art all rolled into one.
The Atari Historical Society
{Destination for Atariphiles} I don’t know about y’all, but the Atari 2600 was my best friend when I was younger. Sure, that’s a tad sad. But really—when my family went out for pizza, the restaurant had to have at least one Atari coin-op resting next to the jukebox and claw game. C’mon… what’s the use of eating a pizza if you can’t offer Ms. Pac Man a slice? Developed by former Atari employees, this digital attraction covers all the bases. See how arcade games evolved… from 1970 to the present. Relive the revolution of the game console. Since it’s written from an insider’s perspective, you’ll also uncover behind-the-scenes bytes you wouldn’t (or couldn’t) find anywhere else. I think I’m getting a Frogger in my throat.
Argon Zark!
There are a lot of comics on the Web, but very few of them really make the most of the medium. Argon Zark!, which has been around since 1995 and claims to be the first interactive Web comic, takes the traditional style of Marvel and DC comic books and translates it to the Web in a very tasteful and unobtrusive fashion, mixing in clickable pages and animated tricks that complement the story and move the plot forward. The titular character is a rainbow-haired geek who invents a way to physically transport himself and his friends through cyberspace where they battle the evil syndicate known as “The 9 or 10 Guys Who Secretly Run Everything.” Charley Parker’s creation is a perfect marriage of graphic novel artistry and Harvey Kurtzman characterization that takes hilarious potshots at the corporate underbelly of the Internet. Parker’s style would work perfectly in book form, and there is a book available, but by using what the Web has to offer, his comic takes on a luster and kinetic energy that could never be realized through older methods.
Just a Tip
{Tell people what’s on your mind} If I’ve learned anything from Star Wars after seeing it forty-seven billion times, it’s that there is a light and dark side to all things. My evil twin has a goatee and puts out a Mac newsletter. He, of course, considers me to be the evil one. On the delicious frosted side of this digital Mini-Wheat is a list of “congrats” that you can send to anyone. Tell them you like their new haircut; tell them they have wonderful taste in clothes; tell Mom and Dad how much they mean to you. Then, when you’re through being nice, you can send constructive criticism to someone who needs it. The thing is, they can easily return the favor. Where did you get that lovely spatula? WARNING: this site contains content for mature audiences.
Exploding Dog
{He draws your words} Simplicity is key, people! Sorry to shout, but a more truthful statement has never been uttered in respect to the Internet’s beauty. Take “Exploding Dog,” for example. You come up with a title, and this guy will draw a picture from it—if it moves him (creatively). That’s it. If that doesn’t sound like a big deal, you need to check out his drawings. They may appear simplistic, but it takes a complex person to convey meaning through simple lines and shapes. I’m starting to sound like an art teacher, now. Hey, they’re just cool, thoughtful drawings. Sit back and enjoy the view. Even submit a thought or two. What else are you gonna do? Okay, I’m through.
The Degree Confluence Project
{Latitude and longitude logging} It’s a small world after all, isn’t it? I suppose that’s a subjective statement. I mean, compared to the known universe—we’re on a pretty small planet. The folks who have designed the Degree Confluence Project want to uncover every inch of this globe… to plot all of the “latitude and longitude integer degree intersections in the world.” More precisely, they need pictures from all of these places. That’s where you come in; don’t you love audience participation? See if one of the confluences happens to be in your neck of the woods, notify the Project, then take your best shot. Or sit there and don’t even try.
Pseudo dictionary
http://www.pseudodictionary.com/
{Find words that aren’t} Ya gotta love a good colloquialism. The problem is, if you’re from the area where the word originated, you forget that it’s not an actual word. It’s cromulent, but even the wisest man can be embiggened. One day, you find yourself looking up “chowderhead” in the dictionary and… phooey. Hey, it’s not your fault; your dictionary just isn’t up to speed, that’s all. To find out how people really talk around here, check out the hip definitions in this online dictionary. I even found the phrase “newbie influx” that describes what happens after Christmas when new computer users infiltrate the Net. Heck, I love a “newbie influx.” No complaints, here.
Computer Pranks
http://www.computerpranks.com/
{Jokes and silly stuff} There are many classic pranks: the lighted match between the toes, Ex-Lax in your coffee, Ex-Lax between your toes… but those get old quick. You have to evolve and bring your sneaky ways to the electronic realm. Here you’ll find a gaggle of funny songs, pictures, and downloadable pranks to make your computer-using victim go completely insane. You could, for example, make them think that Add / Remove is removing all of their programs. Just remember that turn about is fair play. If you’re going to be mean to someone, at least do it in a non- destructive way. There’s a fine line between having fun and… not.
Sissyfight
{Fight back sissy style} It seems that those who are popular in grade school usually lose that popularity by the time they graduate from high school. It might have something to do with burping the “Star Spangled Banner” not being that amazing once a certain age is reached. Hey, we all have to find our niche… even if it isn’t with the “in” crowd, right? Well, now you can relive those petty days with this Shockwave simulator. The object? Stand up to the nasty barbs for your schoolyard chums and salvage your 3rd grade dignity. This game has nothing to do with Sissy Spacek, but I think she’d fare pretty well. Don’t underestimate the power of telekinesis. Or Coal Miner’s daughters.
This Page Intentionally Left Blank
http://www.this-page-intentionally-left-blank.org/
{Think about it for a second} So, how much can I really say about nothing? Well, if you’ve read this newsletter for any amount of time, you know I can stretch even the most minute detail into a 100 or more words with no qualms at all. Well, we’ve all seen those “This Page Intentionally Left Blank” in books and manuals. This guy is just bringing that same concept to the Web. Maybe it’ll serve as a reminder that books still exist. Or maybe it’s a kind of “park bench” where you can stop and rest before setting out into the World Wide Web again. Watch out for those pigeons; I’ve been feeding ‘em seed all day. The sidewalk will not be left blank.
Rhyme Zone
{Rhyme in no time} Chris’ cyst exists in an abyss filled with molasses, sis. Would that dime come just in time? What about a penny for Lenny? A buck for lucky duck? Rhyming is fun, and this portal provides a pretty simple way to find the rhyme for which you’re looking. You can also find synonyms (with cinnamon). Sorry, just trying to spice things up here. Just enter a word and… it’ll not be absurd. It’s perfect for people who… like to chew glue. Boo hoo? Who knew? I have to go now; there’s a socket in Sprocket’s hip pocket and my gasket is dancing on the casket (did a large procession).
Tiny Words
{Got haiku?} So you think you know all there is to know about haiku? Have you even thought about it at all? You probably know it’s an ancient form of Japanese poetry that typically makes references to nature. Like: “Chris sees the sunlight; it is burning his eyeballs; he should stop looking.” Okay, I never claimed to be the master. I can however, have a new haiku sent to my Inbox every day. Nothing like a little ancient culture to start off your day right, right? Hold me closer, tiny words. Someone shaved my wife tonight; she nearly had me baked and fried. Which (I realize) has absolutely nothing to do with haiku.
Dude Studios
Consider these three Flash-animated movies a Cliff’s Notes version of the original Star Wars Trilogy, and also consider them some of the funniest Flash movies I’ve seen in a long time. The characters are recreated as cartoons, and bounce from one scene to the next in perpetual fast-forward, moving like characters from an Atari 2600 game. The frantic pace is funny enough (the three-second, one-handed lightsaber battle between Vader and Obi Wan almost had me on the floor), but what really makes it side-splitting are lines like Dude Vader’s “Dude, I’m your dad,” and Luke Skywalker yelling “Carrie!” as he climbs from his X-Wing (a sly reference to the allegation that Mark Hamill yelled Carrie Fisher’s actual name instead of “Leia”). Fans who know the trilogy inside and out will get a kick out of this truncated version, which is definitely worth repeated viewings to catch the references you might have missed the first time it zipped by. I would also like to point out that Chewbacca kind of looks like a Snickers bar.
Tim Thompson’s Tune Toys
{MIDI music word fun} Algorithmic composition toys—that’s what you’ll find here. And yes, anybody can play with and enjoy them. Who likes music? Everyone, that’s who. Some people like to make it, and then there are people (like myself) who are better off listening to it. I guess that musical gene skipped a generation. I blame my parents. Anyway, if you’ve ever wondered what your name would sound like if it was in MIDI format, talk to Tim. One of his toys translates a Web site address into algorithmic music. Sounds nicer than it… sounds.
The Lair Of The Marrow Monkey
{Interactive e-Book journey} Prepare to have your mind blown away. You might be confused at first, but stick with the Monkey for a few minutes. You’ll soon find yourself unable to leave. It’s difficult to explain exactly why this site exists. It reminds me a lot of Myst—in that you’re never really told what the objective is (if there IS an objective). Nevertheless, enter the Lair of the Marrow Monkey and you may never want to leave again. Read the story, listen to the story, interact with the story. There’s nothing else like it.
The Phobia List
{What are you afraid of?} Remember “A Charlie Brown Christmas” when Lucy diagnosed Charlie Brown with pantophobia, the fear of everything? Remember how shortly after that you got a weird desire for Dolly Madison snack cakes? Remember when these reviews used to make sense? Listen, there is a method to my madness, and it has to do with phobia. If you’re afraid of something, there’s a phobia named after it. Just glancing through this quick reference of phobias I discovered fear of frogs, fear of dirt, fear of the color yellow, and fear of flutes. No, I didn’t make any of those up.
Open Source Poetry
{Showcase your poetic voice} How do you write poetry on the World Wide Web? It’s actually pretty simple: You type a line, you save a line. Open Source Poetry is the same, but different. You can write your own, or, you can pick from a list of stanzas others have written. Think of it as magnetic poetry, except it doesn’t stick to your refrigerator, and you get to pick your words. If only Longfellow had used this method. On second thought, maybe that wouldn’t have been a very good idea.
UFO Seek
{Find UFO info} The truth is out there. If you ask me, that’s a pretty vague statement. I’d appreciate a bit more clarity, something like, “The truth is in Kansas City, MO.” Who has time to go searching in the stars, anyway? Maybe you have to make the time, and that’s what this spacey search engine is all about. If you believe that we’re not alone in the universe, you can find and research anything UFO related via this search engine. It’s also divided into categories to narrow your search down. I thought I saw an alien, but Sprocket just had his head caught in the fishbowl again.
Modify Me
{Clickable music} Music is the universal language… and that’s what makes a site like this so awesome! At first you’re not sure what to make of it, cause it looks like any other “Flash” site. But after a few clicks you’ll start to have fun with it and could become addicted. So what is it exactly? It is some spacey music and a bunch of “things” you can click on and move around. Confused? Curious? Think of it as an interactive jukebox where you get to choose which beats stay and which ones go. It’s the digital equivalent of bubble wrap. I could never stop popping those things, either.
Turn Off The Internet
http://www.turnofftheinternet.com/
{Shutdown the Web} Did you know you can shut down the entire Internet from your computer? Don’t ask me how, but someone has discovered a way to do it. Just think, all those surfers looking for free programs, reading all those content sites, gazing at the dancing hamsters, punching (or shocking) those poor monkeys, and suddenly everything shuts down. This kind of power could prove disastrous in the wrong hands. C’mon, you know you want to press the red button. I won’t tell anyone you did it, I promise.
Crack! People Awareness Engine
{Know who’s surfing} Whoa, I didn’t expect to see you here! How many times have you gone out and seen someone you didn’t expect to see? Well, these guys have developed an engine that let’s people recognize one another when they both happen to be visiting the same Web site. You can see who’s on each page on a certain site, chat with them, see which page they’re on, and even invite someone else to join. You can always turn it off if you don’t want people to know you’re there, too. I just like the reminder that there are actually human beings out there.
Headline Haikus
http://www.headlinehaikus.com/
{Poetry in motion} I’m not a journalist, but I know that news stories must get directly to the point, no beating around the bush. That’s probably why I’d never cut it as one. Ya know, ‘cause I’m always… anyway, nothing gets more “to the point” than the short poetry form haiku. So… why not combine the two writing styles? Strange, I know—but it works! Now, all of the latest headlines can be found in this ancient poetic form. It’s kinda a gimmick, but these little snippets reveal an awful lot about the story within. Sign up and have these suckers delivered to you via e-mail every day. NOTE: the plural form of “haiku” is “haiku,” but these guys know that and chose to add an “S” anyway. Ah, creative license.
Kewlbox
{Games are fun} It’s sad when you get so busy that you actually have to schedule your time wasting. Ah, to be a geek in the midst of transition. I did find a fun way to kill the time I don’t have, and it all centers on this site; they’ve got plenty of digital diversions for your downloading pleasure. My favorite is the Furious George (as in “W”) Missing Link game. Hmmm… he just might be the missing link, now that I think about it. Maybe now those scientists and anthropologists will stop bothering me. NOTE: I would have enjoyed it just as much had it been Gore.
Dictionaraoke
{New definition for music} ROTFLMAO! Okay, you’ve all heard those audio pronunciations from online dictionaries, right? If you weren’t sure how to pronounce a word, a digitized audio guide is very helpful. Well, take those same voices and have them sing some of your favorite rock, punk, and pop songs. Somehow, it’s just not quite the same—but it’s absolutely hilarious. It’s computerized karaoke! I don’t remember the original version of “Take On Me” making me double over with laughter. Well, maybe that one time. I wonder what Webster would say? Probably something along the lines of: “Please stop.”
Elibs
{Get crazy with the verbs} Lockergnome is the creamiest newsletter on the sofa. I love to devour it. No, I haven’t lost my mind, I’m just “madlibbing.” For those of you who don’t remember these do- it-yourself stories, I’ll explain. See, paragraphs would be written with key verbs, nouns, adjectives, and adverbs removed. Your job was to fill them in with any (appropriate) part of speech. The Result? Some pretty funny (but usually just bizarre) stories. You can relive those days with this Web site. Come up with your own “elibs” and check out what other people have written. Dude, you’re never hungry with those purple sneakers.
Famous Name Changes
http://www.famousnamechanges.com/
{Don’t go changing} Did you know that Gretchen’s real maiden name was actually Chewbacca? Okay, not really… but there are a lot of famous sports figures, actors, and politicians who are better known by their pseudonyms than their actual names. This site has them all. A few of these are ready-made for the file: “Gee, ‘Cher’ isn’t her real name? I never would have guessed.” Look around and you’ll be surprised at how many celebrities have ditched their birth name for something with a little more pizzazz. I almost changed my first name to “Kit” a while ago. It’d be too late to do something like that now.
Icon Town
{Town of icons} You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares. Go to Icon Town. There’s no finer place, for sure. Okay, look at your desktop. See all those little pictures? Yeah, someone designed those, and that’s what this virtual community is all about. Folks with a knack for pixel painting design buildings, houses, trees – you name it. As a visitor, you can explore this town and visit various iconular destinations. As a designer, you can “build” your own structure. “IconTown is not just another site offering icons for download – it’s an international project.”
Orisinal Games
{Play unique games} Hmmm, doesn’t this site look familiar? Well, Adam featured it in our Digital Media newsletter, but it’s certainly worthy of a mention here, too. We all like to play games, right? Well, this person has created over twenty (small) digital diversions for your playing pleasure, pal. Shoot ‘em ups, strategy games, ninjas – they’re all right here. These things can be picked up and dropped at a moment’s notice and they don’t take forever to download. Perfect for when the boss isn’t looking. I enjoyed the Santa game; I’m getting excited about the Holidays already.
Cheat Happens
{Cheaters always win} Quickly now, what’s the coolest thing about DVDs? The stereo sound? The crisp and clear picture quality? The fact that they can double as a coaster at cocktail parties? Wrong, wrong, and wrong again. It’s those hidden gems that the movie studios don’t tell you about. But, if you don’t feel like sitting in front of your TV, trying to figure out the correct button sequences to unlock the Easter Eggs, then check out this site out for the list (with accompanying instructions). There are also plenty of cheat codes for you gamephiles out there, too. But you’ve never cheated before in your entire life, have you? Not even once? Oh, come on – I won’t tell anybody.
The Alphabet Synthesis Machine
{Make your own letters} Right now, your computer screen is covered in words – and I’m only using the twenty-six letters available to me. Hey, it all had to start somewhere, right? Somebody had to develop these little symbols that allow us to communicate with one another. Now you can develop an entirely new alphabet based on your own design. Just draw the first character, and this machine will create the rest. You can change the appearance of your letters, and even download them as a True Type font. Maybe I’ll write these newsletters in my new Pirillo Font from now on. “The products of the Machine probe the liminal territories between familiarity and chaos, language and gesture.” Unique!
Oxymoron List
{A list of oxymorons} Pretty ugly. Alone together. What am. I talking. About? These are all oxymorons, my dear friends. Ya know, a contradiction in terms. Would you like to see a few more? Then hop on over to this Web resource, because they’ve got a ton of ‘em. Some are funny (Microsoft Works, private e-mail); some are clever (Civil War, twelve-ounce pound cake); and a few of them confused me. Wait, no they didn’t. Ah, there I go – contradicting myself. Again. Now if y’all would excuse me, I’d like to finish this plate of jumbo shrimp. My virtual reality is uncommonly normal. Wow. Either that sound of silence means you’re not listening, or I’ve been writing with invisible ink.
Miserable Melodies
http://www.miserablemelodies.com/
Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner, and Brent Spiner have all stepped into a recording booth at one time or another and belted out their own version of some contemporary radio hit. I’m not sure what makes Star Trek actors want to become singers, but if I ever do find out, you can bet I’ll be too busy with something else to remember it. This site is dedicated not only to those intergalactic crooners, but to all those famous people who have poured their heart and soul into a song with reckless abandon and complete disregard for the listener’s sanity. This is a great site to visit if your collection of online music is missing tracks by such greats as John Ashcroft, Burt Reynolds, Phyllis Diller, and Susan Lucci.
FindSounds
If you’re trying to locate a specific sound or sound effect for your Web site, or whatever else you may need it for, you might want to check out this search engine. You can use it to search for sounds in AIFF, AU, and WAV formats. There are other options available to narrow your search and find exactly the beep, bark, or buzz you need. “More than searching text labels, FindSounds.com allows you to search for audio files based on how they sound. You can even create your own sounds and use them to find similar sounds on the Web.”
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